You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate
heroine.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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yay. got my tagboard up and running yesterday. feel accomplished. :)

was reading ronglin's blog bout the purple amulet from dazaifu. brought back lots and lots of memory bout my exchange to fukuoka last year. remember very vividly visiting the dazaifu shrine with the mystical plum tree, which was believed to have marked the place out for the building of this historical monument. i remember the three bridges we had to cross to get to the shrine. the first represents the past, the second the present and the thrid the future. we were gravely warned not to stumble or trip as we crossed the bridges, as it would anticipate any failures in our lives. also we could not look back on the path we had walked. something about not dwelling on what has passed, but focusing on what is to come. the first and last bridges were archs, while the middle one was level. its supposed to signify that there have been bumps in our past, and although the present may be smooth sailing, it doesn't mean that there will not be any difficulties in the future. then when we reached the shrine, we were greeted with tall slabs of granite with chinese inscriptions on them, and hundreds of plum trees in full bloom all around the park. legend has it that a famous scholar was buried there in the 9th century. he was very intelligent and wrote great poems and other literary works. he was actually born in kyoto, but was exiled to kyushu. it is believed that the plum tree beside the alter flew with him from kyoto to kyushu, hence the park full of plum trees. after his death, he was revered as the god of education and thousands of people from all over japan pay visits to the shrine before a major examination and hang amulets outside the alter for luck. so being kiasu singaporeans as we were, some of us bought some wooden amulets with nice verses on them, wrote our name and hung them around the pagoda. after that, we had a really nice tea near the shrine, sitting on tatami mats, sipping on traditional japanese tea and nibbling on rice cakes filled with plum paste. all this under the canopy of the plum trees. it was just heavenly.

oh man. feels like i've been to fukuoka and back again, reliving all those memories. *sighs wistfully*

ack... construction workers strolling in and out of the house. dusty wooden boards lining the floor. drilling, drilling and more drilling that threatens to shake the house down to crumbling dust. ear-splitting noise that spoilt my morning plans for an action-packed non-stop vcd watching marathon. not fun.

CELEBRATION!!! i've finally been liberated from the trecherous bondages of pw! *punches fists into the air in jubilation* ;P i'm so relieved. seriously, i felt quite lost after the presentation. like "huh? so what's next?" chinese? checked. pw? checked. its like a huge bundle's been lifted off my back. (which incidently was aching so badly when i got home yesterday, i climbed into bed before 10.) now... to concentrate on chalking up hours for cip, getting ready for the ntu-jc challenge, preparing for the much awaited summer school at melbourne uni, clearing up the "in" tray of tutorials, preparing for tests when school reopens, attend dance practices and plan for next year. oh wait. think i forgot to mention something important. have FUN! hmm... seems like there's still quite a huge pile of stuff to get done, but wth! cut those strings baby cos this girl's gonna HAVOC!!!

stumbled upon this really cute but meaningful song while flipping through my primary 1/2 music jotter book.

would you like to swing on a star

would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a mule
a mule in an animal with long funny ears
he kicks up at anything hears
his back is brawny and his brain is weak
he's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
oh by the way if you hate to go to school
you may grow up to be a mule

or would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a pig
a pig is an animal with dirt on his face
his shoes are a terrible disgrace
he's got no manners when he eats his food
he's fat and lazy and extrememly rude
but if you don't care a feather or a fig
you may grow up to be a pig

or would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a fish
a fish won't do anything but swim in a brook
he can't write his name or read a book
to fool all people is his only thought
and though he's slippery he still gets caught
but if that sort of life is what you wish
you may grow up to be a fish

and all the monkeys aren't at the zoo
every day you meet quite a few
so you see its all up to you
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star

everything you ever told me was a lie... lion king

what do you do when someone betrays you? cry your bleddy eyes out. sink into self-denial. sedate yourself with sleep. cross your fingers and toes and try to move on, scars and all. problem is, how can i move on without your assurance that things will change for the better? i've been living in my fantasy world for too long. far too long. perhaps i was being too hopeful. but what good can pessimism do? i'm confused. scared. haunted. the only other time i felt like this was in a dream. my worse nightmare in my 17 years of existence to be exact. now, i still feel like i'm stuck in a nightmare. i can't think straight. i feel detached from everything around me. i'm still trembling and finding myself close to tears thinking...

i have an obligation. a responsibility. seems like i'm the only one left standing to dispatch it. and i will carry it out. you mark my words.

CHIJ
You scream for your school at any opportunity and
for some strange reason you love your school to
no end. You wear your belt so low that ACS
boys' pants would be considered high (yeah.
oh.. my..god)


Wad girl's school should you be from?
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You are blue. You are somewhat innocent, in the fact that your genius only extends to the physical world. You have a false sense of contentness. You are usually the quiet one, the genius. Everyone can count on you to help when they have problems, but you only fall short of being able to solve your own.

What inner color are you?

confined at home again today. was running a temperature last night. woke up this morning with a prickly throat and a head too heavy to be lifted from my nest. tis the forth time this month i've succumbed to various physiological discomfort that has warranted medication, which brings me back to my point about feeling like an invalid. didn't realise the severity of this frequency till just. this just goes to substantiate rach and vics' comment about me looking weak. oh well.

yup. finally changed my layout. think it looks alot cleaner and sanguine compared to the previous. don't you think? well... guess i wasted enough of my day. shall return to pw and chinese now.

ok. so i've given up on remaking this page.
just like i've given up on so many occasions cos i'm just too tired to persevere.
i'm utterly indespicable.

school has leeched me of so much of my energy that now i'm nothing more than a... than a... crap. i can't even think right. feel like such an invalid. seems like the only thing i'm good at right now is sleep. and eat. and sleep somemore.
i'm utterly indespicable.

had a really great time at my class' chalet. was playing in the sea for about 2 hours under the scorching mid-day sun with huiqi, suhan and yang. it was really fun just bobbing around, hijacking the waves and getting sand in my clothes. after that, went bowling. well... sort of. kinda lost touch with the ball after not playing for so many years and my elbow and wrist started to hurt quite abit again. oh well... went cycling after that. tis the first time i actually managed to cycle from one end of east coast to the other and back! woohoo! major achievement for me. now, my dierierre hurts, and my knees are squeaking and the funny feeling between my right tighbone and hipbone is back again. anyhow, it was good fun. :) didn't play any mahjong this time round. spent most of the night in the bedroom playing cards and basically talking cock with the rest. haha... i love chalets.

was back in school at 8 this morning for the cca leaders workshop. think i humiliated myself during the presentation but wth. spent half the time trying not to doze off. the food wasn't all that appetising either. only thing good bout the workshop is the enrichment pt they decided to give us for turning up. haha. ok. maybe it was a little beneficial. we actually got to know what kind of problems the other ccas were facing, besides the ALMOST unanimous agreement about the lack of funding and the pros and cons to the ccas going independent and merging with the chinese high will bring. met the rest of the exco to prepare for open house. felt like we were in a trench of shit cos we hadn't even cheorographed half the dance yet, and we have less than a week left before open house. after a while, our 2 dance i/cs got so tired out, one went to sleep while the other decided she needed a break. went down to venezia for ice cream. guess what? tis my second time down at 6th avenue since i came into hc, and the first time i've ever stepped into venezia. am i slack or am i slack? anyway, met sansan there. thank god we met her! now our item for open house isn't in such deep shit anymore. all's well that ends well. i hope. :)

the promos are finally over! dun intend to devote this whole entry to it though. it only warrants a mere mention cos there's really nothing i can say about it until the results are out.

met rong after school today. watched seabiscuit at cine. the show was really really good. could relate to it in so many ways. it was a tad idealistic, but still enjoyed it anyhow. lots of quotes from shakespeare, dickenson and other pre 20th century authors were scripted into the film. see, that's why you should study lit. can better appreciate its aesthetic value. feel fueled to read english novels now. top on my list at the moment is wuthering heights, the complete and unabriged version. geez. wonder when i will actually graduate to the 5th chapter. read the adapted version in primary school, but reading the actual one puts things in a whole new perspective.

k. actually i still have lotsa things to pen, but that will have to wait for another time. gonna be busy for the next few days with chalet, cca and church. i'm currently working on a new template for my blog too. hopefully it'll be out before i chain myself back to my books to study for chinese. till then.

quote of the day: "he's just so beat up running in circles he's just gotta learn how to be a horse again" - seabiscuit-

this pic is so awfully cute and innocent! quite unlike me tho... *evil grinz*

You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always
behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outta
people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,
after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.
Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.
However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

a fresh new page
a leaf untouched
so much to say
where do i start?

the sky lights up
the birds awake
the world moves on
which path to take?

that cloud
the sky
i reach
i fly

i fall
in vain
retreat
in shame

the tree branced snaps
the leaves pined down
the birds fly off
alas, no sound

the sun still sets
the moon still glows
and waves still crash
and time still flows

a bud unfurls
the crick't laughter
a state of art
the morning after

still scars remain
long after the pain

yet fl'wers bloom brightest
after the rain

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
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erps ;P

sometimes i think i worry too much.

quote of the day: the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

i can feel my teeth now the braces are gone!
there are no obstacles in my way... (not in the form of braces that is)
dun have to worry bout food getting stuck now that my braces are gone...
its gonna be a bright, bright sunshiney day...
(sung to the tune of I Can See Clearly Now by Anne Murray)

well... couldn't think of anything else to replace that last verse, but wth... it was quite bright and sunny today anyway... lalala... spend 1 hour plus at the orthodontist's today getting my braces out... have no idea what she was doing shining some LED stuff into my mouth. well... actually i'm not very sure what exactly it was... that was all i could catch from the corner of my eye. then the nurse made me put on a 0.5mm lead coat when i took an x-ray (while getting my braincells fried at the same time. i'm quite sure i felt something funny going on in my temples when the carbon thingy stopped rotating at my right temple. haha... ok... mebbe i was just bored. anyway, got my retainers today. super uncomfortable... oh well... think i'll get use to it soon. good thing is that i can take them off whenever i want to. (something new to do to keep me awake during lectures. look ma! no hands!! ;P ) supposed to wear them on 24 hours or else my teeth will start shifting back... very tempted not to but since i've already invested so much, must not let all of it go to waste. :) even if it means sounding like daffy duck for the next few months... oh well... its all in the name of vanity. haha.

anyway, 2 really interesting things happened on the way home today. interesting thing number 1. the 156 bus that arrived at the bishan mrt bus stop had NOBODY on it! is that perculiar or is that perculiar? haha... think it just came out of the depot, but still a completely empty 156 at 7 in the evening is a rare sighting indeed. interesting thing number 2. saw a really pretty sunset when i was walking home today. haven't seen one as beautiful in quite awhile. it wasn't all that magnificent. it was more of a quiet beauty. the whole sky was a deep velvet blue with a few clouds strung across. then in the horizon the blue blended into sea green and finally the yellow, disappearing behind the roofs of some terraces. the silhouette of the rustling leaves of a solitary palm tree pasted in front of the row of terraces completes the serene atmosphere. the cry of a lonely cricket could be heard over dinnertime sounds. the whole estate just felt so... magical. i love my neighbourhood. :) its so rare nowadays to get intune with nature. i'm usually so consumed in my own thoughts that i fail to see the beauty of simplicity around me. hmm...reminds me of that song gary played over his laptop "there's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me..."

quote of the day: what you have is God's gift to you. what you become is your gift to God.

i'm FINALLY taking off my braces tomorrow!! woohoo! after 2 freaking long years, 5 months and...lemme see... 4 days (counting tmr). muah haha!

ok...now on to something more serious...
right now i feel like digging a hole in the ground and burrying myself for good. really hate it when i say stuff that i shouldn't say, and even more so, have no right to say. i'm really sorry you. sigh. feel horribly guilt-striken right now. i remember back in p2, i said something real horrible (or at least i tot it was horrible back then tho saying it right now would not yield any repurcussions, i think). didn't mean it at all and i felt really horrible after that. apologised profusely and she said it was ok. but almost a decade on and i can still remember every single second of it. met her again a few years back. she was (and i bet still is) as pretty and sweet as ever and i was just overcome by remorse and disgust for myself. asked her whether she remembered how we used to play during recess way back in p2 and she only remembers the good times we spent playing catching and five stones and throwing coins into the grotto at the sacred heart. asked her if she remembered that fateful day and she says she has no inkling at all. sometimes i just feel i do not deserve the wonderful friends that i have made over the years. believe me. i love you guys all so much. i couldn't bear to hurt anyone.

on the flip side, sometimes i really hate myself for stuff that i should do but fail to. shall not venture into the explicit details lest i bore you. shall continue wallowing in pw and tuts now. and no jae... i am NOT a freak. thank you very much.

hmm... think my blog is far too wordy. think it needs a major facelift. but not now. seems like my well of inspiration is running dry. guess this place will have to remain dormant for awhile more until the creases of my not-so-mundance-at-this-point-of-time life has been iron out.

capturing fleeting spurts of inspirations, like the wind sweeping amber leaves into its embrace and dropping them onto the concrete pavement; like the wind, sometimes warm and refreshing, yet sometimes cold and biting. such are the winds of life, sweeping you off your feet and bringing you on unknown voyages beyond your wildest imagination. and you know you cannot resist it no matter how hard you try. its wuthering is exceedingly overwhelming.